Go Home Bloom Your Durnk
by thewanderingoutsider
Summary: The magnificent Crown Princess Bloom of Domino is a philosophical drunk who has an obsession with witches. And those who think they're her friends are none the wiser, save one or two, who try to keep her habits under wraps. #spastic one-shot serial, #T for terrible humour, #if stupidity was a genre I'd pick it, #the synopsis makes it sound better, #I regret nothing


**~Huntinkg~**

_The evening was dark with breathing shadows and seething lies. Filled to the brim with leering satyrs and peering eyes. The trace of rouge. The face of beast. She had found the crème de la crème to take on the merry-go-round of her inhuman race. And she would drown in the light and the sound, obsess over the face._

_While there was no opera house to woo her Christine down under, she was definitely the Phantom behind the performance._

_Dashing and graceful, ever so mysteriously tormentedly irresistible, for she was the terror that flapped in the night, she was...wait...wrong quote...dammit..._

This time the witch really shot glances at the high tower walls surrounding the courtyard. It was the third time since travelling back to Cloud Tower from Magix City she'd undeniably heard something scuttling up above her, or rather plodding.

The azure-haired witch started weaving a repellent spell as discreetly as possible. She really wasn't in the mood for a freshman's prank.

_Unlike the Phantom of the Opera, she was the animal hunting out. Successfully preying on those..._

The witch whipped round ready to throw a blast at the noise, only to see a large shape fall several stories into the thorny shrubbery with a glorious crash, followed by some loose droppings of chipped stone.

She still loosened the magical attack in the direction of the fall, just to be safe. But when she came closer, there was nothing...

In a matter of seconds the witch found herself painfully flat on the concrete.

In the scuffle she tried screaming, but the person who landed on her stifled that. But she was quite ready to use a powerful outburst to throw her assailant off...

Until she instantly recognized the face as belonging to one from the pack of celebrity fairies constantly featured in the Magical Dimension's media.

The first thing that shot through the witch's mind was denial of any supposed wrongdoing. But as if things weren't strange enough...

"Goooooooooooooood evening."

"...Hi?" was all the witch found she was able to say when confronted the red-head's ridiculously disarming grin.

Without warning the fairy slapped both her hands down and bending lower gave a long disturbing sniff.

"Mnnn, you smell nice." the fairy gave a petite smile. Suddenly her eyes widened and she swiftly covered the witch's mouth. "Now sweet Christine, I probably should be more romantic and sing something but...eh?" Bloom uncovered the witch's mouth after hearing some mumbling.

"I'm...I'm...not Christine." the bewildered witch forced out.

"Pffttt. It doesn't matter."

"Uhm, yes it does, I mean...I think you've got the wrong person." the witch winced. "My name is Lucrezia."

"Tut tut. Christine doesn't mean Christine I'm just calling you Christine because I'm your Don Juan."

"...What?"

"Well technically in the Phantom's play, Christine's character didn't actually have a name, so I just refer to her as Christine. And Don Juan was actually the Phantom..." Bloom looked back at her a little distractedly. "Do many people tell you that you're a beautiful witch?"

"What?" Lucrezia started turning red. She was so scared...actually scared...of a fairy. Ridiculous.

"I'm a witch..."

"So?"

"Well...isn't it a little obvious?" Lucrezia let herself fume, but then winced with horror as Bloom began drooling.

"Well I think you're beautiful." the fairy slurped like she was having a good snack. "Witches always have this unique smell about them, and your scent is beautiful. Powerful, wild, strong and solitary. Mnnnn."

"Is it sad that that's probably the nicest thing someone outside of witch society ever said to me?" Lucrezia muttered aloud unintentionally. And her eyes swiftly widened again as Bloom started tracing her fingers across her face in response.

"Uhh...you almost sound like you...want to be a witch?" she tried to defuse the awkwardness of the situation.

"Me? A witch? Nah." Bloom brought her face back uncomfortably close to hers. "I've attained a certain taste for your lovely kind from a purely observational point of view."

"Oh gods above." Lucrezia moaned scrunching her eyes.

"But alas as with many things, our time is cut short by mortal circumstances." Bloom sighed, both hearing the loud vibrations in her hip pocket. "But fret not. I shall return to marvel at your beauty again."

Lucrezia really didn't like how the supposedly celebrity fairy said again. And somehow without even a blink, she was gone. The hum of _"True is false"_ and _"Who is who"_ wavering in the air.

* * *

_Winx Club, Phantom of the Opera (Love Never Dies doesn't exist in this story...IT DOESN'T EXIST) and Darkwing Duck belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended._


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